My Story (some of it...)
My Journey: From Childhood Abuse to Engineer to Motherhood to Divorce to Therapist… and Beyond
Every person carries a story—and whether we whisper it, write it, or speak it aloud, sharing our story can be deeply healing.
But it also requires courage. Not everyone has earned the right to hear your truth, and not everyone can hold it well.
I share mine with the hope that you might recognize pieces of your own journey—and feel empowered to begin or continue your healing.
Growing Up in Silence: Secrets, Lies, and Survival
In my family, I called our unspoken culture “Secrets and Lies.”
As an African American child, I was taught that everything—pain, confusion, trauma—stayed within the walls of our home.
I endured physical abuse, framed as “discipline,” for behaviors that were simply normal childhood mistakes.
I endured sexual abuse, because I was taught to obey adults without question and was never taught about boundaries, bodily autonomy, or that I had a choice—no matter my age.
I endured emotional abuse, shaming, and criticism from people who were supposed to care for me. Bullies added to the harm during my school years, and I had no coping skills to manage the pain that kept piling up.
Over time, these wounds shaped me into a young woman filled with unexpressed anger, using food to soothe emotions I didn’t know how to name.
I developed anxiety and depression, living with the weight of feelings I was too afraid to release.
The Bright Spot: Education as Escape and Empowerment
School became my sanctuary.
Learning was where I felt safe, seen, and capable.
My academic success led me to earn an engineering degree in 1990, and later to a 25-year career with a local Fortune 500 company.
But even with professional success, a deeper calling was growing within me—something connected to healing, honesty, and mental wellness.
A New Calling: Becoming a Therapist
After 25 years, I walked away from a six-figure salary and excellent benefits to pursue what had changed my own life: mental health counseling.
Counseling helped me understand my wounds, reshape my patterns, and reclaim my voice.
Now, I help others—especially individuals and communities who have historically been pushed away from or hesitant to seek mental health support—find the same clarity, compassion, and healing.
My mission is to make mental health understandable, accessible, and culturally relevant.
Motherhood: Breaking Cycles and Choosing Love
Motherhood was another turning point.
In the beginning, I parented the only way I knew—replicating what I had been taught.
Until the day I saw fear in my young son’s eyes.
In that moment, I made a sacred commitment: the cycle stops with me.
I chose to give my children:
- The strengths my mother passed down—education and a strong work ethic
- And what I never received—love spoken aloud, hugs, emotional safety, humor, and spiritual grounding
Some say, “Your parents did the best they could.”
Maybe.
But it can also be true that their “best” was not enough to raise a whole, emotionally healthy child.
Every human being deserves preparation for the world they will face—and that preparation begins at home.
A Guiding Truth
One of my favorite quotes captures this beautifully:
“It is easier to build strong children than to repair broken men.” — Frederick Douglass
And yet, I believe—with support, compassion, and intentional work—broken people can be repaired.
That belief is at the heart of who I am and why I do this work.
Joycelyn Johnson LPCC-S, LMHC, CCTS-I